Ramblings #1181

7.47am – It’s Monday again. Little Milkie won’t be going to school until her cough recovered. She will be visiting the doctor again. I should have went with her last week. Gosh… It’s another 40 bucks on consultation. Milo’s vaccination cost 400 bucks. Tell me… Where do I get those spare money even if I don’t spend? Although it’s been months, I still feel like strangling him whenever I thought of it. But seriously, I think I need to put in more effort on it. I’m lagging way behind…

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Ramblings #1131

12.46am – Last mission for today. No, I mean the previous day, and I’m off for some good rest. Am waiting for the breastmilk to get heat up for little milo. Gosh, you have no idea how exhausted I am. Am aching all over the place and massage alone won’t help for long.

Little milo is doing his usual eh-eh and orh-orh. But whatever he does, he still has to wait.

Not too bad for today. At least I manage to make an appointment and transfer my Pans & Play website to another server. That will give me a real good reason to revamp the site which I’ve been trying to do. And…

…okay, back from making the milk, burping little milo and brushing my teeth. I can finally go and sleep now! Gee… Left 1 hour and 15 minutes to sleep. Better do so quickly or else I think I will oversleep and miss my MOTN (middle of the night) pump again. Bon nuit!

5.42am – AH!!!!!! I overslept and missed my pump again! Urgh. the time will sure get mixed up today. Damn. Damn. Damn.

7.01am – Shall catch a 30 minutes nap before I get up and start preparing my day…

7.56am – Goodness. Did I oversleep AGAIN?!!!!!! Milkie’s late. Milkie’s late. Better quickly get up.

8.15am – Sigh… See. At night don’t want to sleep. Morning don’t want to wake up. And now she’s had her milk bottle in her mouth, but not sucking as she’s sleeping… -.-”’

8.47am – Hi! Good morning! We are both so sleepy! Isn’t that wonderful??

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10.04am – Oh great! The battery for the pump is flat! Sigh… *tap* *tap* *tap*

11.11am – Rise and shine. Yes, I shone earlier on. Anyhow, would like to be a little more awake and TRY to pack my things a little. But first of all, let me have my daily happy dose of the Ellen show! ^^

11.21am – I love Anna Kendrick!! And I want to watch Pitch Perfect 2!! But… hmm… that will need some planning…

12.45pm – The head is starting to ache…

1.25pm – I’m going to switch on the air-con for a few hours and start packing my room. 2.15pm – 2.30pm for my next pump. Let’s hope I’m a quarter done by then. Better get his milk out first. Or… should it be fm for this session?

1.59pm – Lunch is… half done. Wasn’t really nice today. Dad cooked bee hoon and noodle which somewhat tasted a little hard. Thus I only ate till half full, so that I can pick up some milo and biscuits later on. And I haven’t taken my brewer’s yeast and milk maid’s tea for today! There’s so many things that I’m supposed to eat. Honestly, I’m not sure if it even works. Probably not, since I don’t see any drastic increase till now. But anyhow, since I already bought it, so might as well… I’m on LIVE (almost) updates today!

Gee… I only managed to tidy my bed and it’s time to prepare to pump… time flies…

3.40pm – Power pump done. Headache still there. Time to continue packing. Where do I start…?

3.47pm – Got kidnapped to feed little milo. Urgh…

6.45pm – Wow… time really passes so fast and my room is in a mess!! Worse than before *face palm*

11.25pm – Finally…

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11.12am – It feels like a new start, especially for a Monday. Life seems to have gone back to normal, with a lot of people changing back to their own profile picture and cover photo today. Me too. But yet the news kept on flowing, both negative and positive.

I’m currently sitting in the kitchen of my parents’ house, with the China auntie gossiping about her recently divorced tenant. It’s the 4th couple already, to have rented and lived in that room, and split after that. Could be some bad fengshui with that particular room? Another auntie of mine had amusingly commented to my Uncle, to tell him to sleep in that room with his China wife shall he wants to divorce (since they are always arguing). Alas… I wonder, is she going to stay here for long, since her toilet is under renovation now? Hmm… I can’t really stand her voice, to be honest, after hearing her complaining for more than 10 years, about anything and everything.

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Ramblings #1085

12.14am – There he goes… leaving me awake. And he can really sleep fast, snoring almost immediately…

12.54am – Huh? Added payee? I didn’t even login at this time!

1.03am – Luckily I managed to recall that I DID have another account with this bank. Otherwise, it might probably cause some issues. And I’m glad my partner replied. *LOL*

1.53am – Just when I could finally sleep, a stench of urine smell hit my nose and I’m like O.O”’ The diaper had overflowed.

8.42am – Poor little milkie. Due to the poor quality of her sleep last night (which got disrupted by the puke and changing of diaper & clothes), and thus the auto-waking up half an hour earlier, she tried to run back to the car again. But sigh… can’t let her get used to crying and bringing her home. That will make her do it again. Let’s hope the teachers treat her well… I’m so glad it’s Friday already.

11.13am – Hmm… looks like I can’t get my things from Uniqlo today. Need to change plan. Need to change plan.

11.36am – Do you know the purpose of a template? It basically is to standardise all the contents and format inside that document. What is the point, then, of a template, IF you happily go and change the colours, fonts, format and all inside the template? Then I might as well do without it.

I don’t understand. Is this such a difficult “rule” to follow? Why do I have to constantly battle with people of such minds?

I don’t like my job. It doesn’t have much meaning. Really. But it’s so near to where I stay, so much so that I try to ignore the monetary portion. Sigh… endure… endure… endure…

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1.52pm – Feeling sleepy again after a heavy lunch. Took a fat and ugly passport photo of myself. Bought the envelopes. And on top of that, I got some heart shaped glitters (got attracted by that 30% discount) and the background cards for my flash cards! Well, well, well, the busy mum is again full of ideas but lack of energy to execute everything. And the blogs are all suffering because of that! I can’t let that happen!

Little milo, little milo, would you come out earlier, like in March? Please give me some signs if you really do for I need to handover quite a bit of things, especially at work.

2.49pm – Wow… little milo… do you have to kick me until so hard?

Ramblings #1084

7.01am – Meeting. Meeting. What kind of meeting is this? Why do they need to set it so early?

7.32am – Ah… It’s so funny when little milkie totally didn’t response to my calling when I wake her up. Looks like half an hour DOES make a big difference. I’m glad I made her sleep earlier last night. Or else it could have been worse.

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7.57am – THAT is definitely a look that says “STOP DISTURBING ME”. *LOL* And she was stoning with her mouth opened just a while ago. So funny…

8.16am – Oh my, I can’t believe I’m so early at work. *Yawn*

12.15pm – Yes! Got some good news again! And looks like we can proceed on with our next plan! Join the clan! Anyway, looks like the luck of those born in the year of dog is getting better! *LOL* Meanwhile, let me clear some errands after my lunch first. I’m so freaking hungry after skipping my breakie this morning, I swear I almost fainted.

12.36pm – Gee… of all places, I can only get that size from the branch in Ion. Takes a week to transfer to the branch here? By then, Valentines’ day and Chinese New Year would be over. Hmm… now… I need to think how to get down there to grab that nice shirt for the lil’ hub…

1.18pm – Goodness gracious! My colleague and I just finished our lunch (teppanyaki) like an hour ago, and now we are at Long John’s sharing a set of meal because we are both craving for it! It’s a time to celebrate and get fat!!

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3.54pm – Expensive pineapple tarts surely doesn’t equates tasty ones. Are you craving for some now (suddenly thought of a friend far away…)? *LOL* Gee, I’ve been eating so much, I hope little milo won’t have another burst of weight increase next Saturday!

Ramblings #1083

9.13am – There it was, on the sofa. I saw it before I left it there, and I did consider twice before I left it there. Still, I left it there, thinking that it wasn’t important. Somehow, it does matter, not to me, but to little milkie. As I saw her wailing, and trying to get back to her grandma’s house to get the rubber band that she had chose so carefully in the morning, I can’t help but feel so incompetent. Have I failed as a mother? To miss out such details when I do actually know her characters. What was I thinking? Why didn’t I just take that rubber band with me? Just a small little rubber band…

And what happened to all of those things that I had planned for her and myself. Where has it gone?

Once again, the feeling of loneliness crept over me, as I fight on my own against all odds. And I find myself getting stuck in the middle, or else getting the blames. All those responsibilities appear to be on me, and me only… Making sure that little milkie sleeps earlier at night. Don’t let little milkie watches too much Youtube. Bring little milkie back to our house and sleep. Don’t give her other food while she’s taking her meals. And blah… and blah… and blah…

Why… do I seem to be… doing this… alone? No, I love little milkie, and I love to know that little milo is joining our family soon. I love these responsibilities but I guess at times, I would love to have some help just by them (a.k.a. the people around us) not going against what I would love to do/achieve. And of course, an understanding lil’ hub. That would really be a great breather. Really great.

It’s only February but yet a lot of plans had been disrupted. OR maybe I had planned it oh so wrongly, never considering the load that I’m carrying at the moment. Setting up an unrealistic goal that’s too high for me to reach. Energy depleting way too fast than I had expected. Such that… everything seems to be in chaos at this moment. And the suddenly arrival of the flu bug caught me off guard and left me procrastinating things for a few more days.

Where am I to go from here now, when that “leave me alone” feeling is coming?

1.32pm – After a heavy yummy lunch and clearing a list of errands, looks like my mood has gone better! All I probably need now is some peace and quiet, if only I could get them, from somewhere. I wonder if it’s alright for me to go into a meeting room and do some work there instead of here in these noise. Hmm…

1.42pm – Okay, never mind. I shall stay here out in the open, with my headphone on. BLAST THE MUSIC!

1.54pm – Little milo, ganbatte with mommy! ^^

2.07pm – Doesn’t look like the luck is with those born in the year of monkey today. Shall try to keep as low profile as possible.

4.55pm – Hmm… yes, avoid getting into other people’s business. I’m trying to but why keep on letting me see things that I probably shouldn’t? Just saw her coming in with her eyes all red after an hour of disappearance to don’t-know-where. Asked her and she told me not to prompt her more for she won’t be able to control the tears. That further confirmed my suspicions on her and that T guy. Especially after she posted on her FB with a picture that says

“Too busy” is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them.

~ Mandy Hale

Yes, it’s true. And yes, it’s true. And yes again, you shouldn’t tell me for I’ll repeat the same thing which both you and I know. I just hope you can wake up from your dreams, eventually, before you get hurt too much or something bad really happened.

6.01pm – It truly is important to make sure that the older children are not being neglected when a younger one is born (or going to be). As I took out the box sent by the Great Eastern Insurance for the SG50 and opened it up, I could see the glow from little milkie’s face. She must be wondering, why are all these things for the little brother… only?

And so one by one, piece by piece, she took it out. I knew she wanted some of it but she didn’t ask me directly. All she did is ask, “why is it for baby’s use?”. I mean, of course, it doesn’t really fit her (the mittens and bootees etc. Thus, when she took that bib out, I simply asked her if she wanted that, and if she did, she can take it.

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My over-age SG50 baby

A lot of times, I guess the older child(ren) is being somewhat neglected when the younger one is born. Even if not neglected, the attention is being shared by the younger one. As much as the adults need to adjust, children need that too.

Little milkie, mommy can’t promise that I can give you all the attention that you required, but I will try to, as much as possible, like what I’m doing now. And don’t worry, mommy will always loooooove you! MUAK!!

10.24pm – She’s finally asleep after that half an hour of interesting topic with her. The difference between a gynae, a pediatrician and a dentist. And she’s so amused when I told her that her grandpa dare not visit the dentist for the fear of getting his last few teeth plucked out -.-”’

Nonetheless, it feels really nice to chat with her. I felt like I can almost pass all my knowledge to her as she grew older. And I’m really kind of glad that she’s so curious in everything. Though it gets somewhat tiring at times to need to explain everything and anything. Ah… love this little kid to bits! Let’s hope things will remain the same when little milo is out.

Goodnight!

Ramblings #1081

10.08am – It’s Thursday today, and I have an urge to bury myself in my blogs, and let the accumulated water flow out without any restrain.

The morning had been peaceful thus far, with little people around in my department. I did wonder for a moment if I missed any meeting again earlier on, but scrap that idea off after I saw my admin coming in.

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Ramblings #1080

3.25am – I’ve been waking up so often in the middle of the night of recent, until I’m really so freaking tired from it. Looks like little milo didn’t fail to train me from all the late nights that I’ll be experiencing soon.

7.41am – Smuggled and HIDDEN!! Nice! ^^

8.12am – It’s funny when you see her finished her milk and immediately K.O. back to sleep. Who wouldn’t, especially for a child, when she only had less than 8 hours to sleep. Hmm… think I’ll have to start tuning her sleeping time again. Sleeping after midnight is way too much.

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8.54am – Another day of struggle with the crying koala bear that refuses to get off me. Sigh… is it due to the little brother that’s coming out soon? Or she simply just don’t like to go to school?

8.59am – And we both burst out laughing after my we realised that our dad meant ‘childcare’ when he pronounced it as ‘chao-geh’. *LOL*

10.37am – Spent the whole morning chatting with a friend on the Universe, world and little red dot again. Too heavy for a morning’s topic.

11.07am – The lil’ hub just called and said that the chat is over. Hmm… interesting job but I’m not too sure if he will like it. Nonetheless, if I am him. IF, in the event I didn’t get the other job, I will take this first and see how it goes. After all, unless there’s another vacancy for another job immediately, else, it’s definitely a good thing to have the income flowing first. And why not? To try out a new kind of job, which isn’t for hardselling, but instead, just to spread the word? ESPECIALLY if the salary is just as nice. *LOL* I’m pragmatic, yes, I know. But that’s life. I need to be, in order to live and survive in this realistic world. And honestly, I’m already not so realistic compared to a lot others.

11.36am – Gee… seems like I need to stop wearing my rings and a few watches. It’s getting a little tight…

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12.14pm – It’s DONE! HUAT AH!!

3.46pm – As I held the summarised version of JY’s Astrology for 2015, I can’t help but try not to laugh when I came across one of their bazi – the one where she’s lusting for someone, and vice versa. Could it be that coincident? I think she must be panicking inside. *LOL*

4.35pm – And it seems like, just moments before the start of a new year, there’s yet another plane crash in Taiwan. How tragic… to end the 2014. And it’s really like half an hour or so, before the start of a new year. This year, it’s going to be the year of the Wood. I wonder what’s going to happen to the agriculture, or palm oil, or fashion, or furniture industry (or any of those of that element). I just hope that there won’t be loss of lives, like 2014.

5.16pm – I wondered… will I help my children to check all enquiries in future? Or will I give them the directions, and get them to check on their own? Hmm… I might do the latter… After all, I (or the lil’ hub) should be the escalation point. Which means that the child should try and solve it on his/her own ability first before attempting to get us to help. Right? Anyway… that’s just me.

Ramblings #1068

7.35am – Monday, again. And I am so reluctant to wake up but what can I do? Nothing. The idea of taking MC today was scrapped off after thinking about the loads of things to do at work. Not to mention that I haven’t even gotten the letter that there’s increment for my salary! Or is there no increment this year? O.O”’

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