Thoughts – Reflections in the Morning

It’ll be even better if I’m sitting on the beach now, feeling the cool breeze instead of sitting on the sofa in my living room. Though the view wasn’t that bad, it could have been so much better…

I’m waiting, as usual, for the lil’ hub to get ready for work now. It’s in the morning. It’s a good time to reflect on your life when the mind is clear and fresh.

My sleep hadn’t been that good last night, with the lil’ hub breaking his promise of not playing D3 (since I was banned by him and I promised on that too for the sake of little milkie) after I gave him a “surprise attack.” Not deliberately. I was just going into the study room to pick up my towel when I caught him killing the monsters.

And then it continued with a nightmare of me losing someone I love, something which I feared most. That woke me up which coincided with the coming of the rain, lightning and thunder, which somehow woke little milkie up, as she started to wriggle inside me.

The disturbed sleep continued until the moment where I suddenly forgotten and over-stretched my right leg, which caused a damn painful cramp that I couldn’t seem to resolve on my own. So there goes Plan B – wake the lil’ hub up. I’m glad this time, his reaction was fast even though I didn’t manage to ramble any words out. I guessed the expression on my face and the finger pointing towards the leg is enough to show my agony.

With the end of that episode, I gave up continuing to sleep, especially when the leg still has that “pulling” effect and the stomach seems to want to join in the fun as it started to stirred. So there I go, waking up early and preparing for work, and… now sitting on the sofa, with lots of things going through my head.

Firstly, I love my house. I love the way it’s being renovated and decorated, and how “white” and bright everything are. And how I love that CLEAN feeling, at least for most part of the house. So this morning, I decided to take off the slippers that I’d been wearing ever since I got pregnant, and feel the icy cold homogeneous tiles that we chose. Alas… bad decision. It did cross my mind before that there’s a possibility that this is happening but I didn’t really expect that it really is the case. What? The floor feels like my MIL hadn’t mopped the floor for quite a while…


Suddenly. I wished I hadn’t been that helpless. I wished that I could do lots more. Not that I couldn’t but it’s just with a lot more effort, difficulties and restrictions. And yes, that day will come soon. But for now, all I could do is to endure, close both my eyes and shut my mouth. The kitchen cabinets, the stove (which honestly, is a lot better than previously), the floor, the clothes, the shelves, the sofa, the toilet, the electric kettle etc.

And then my websites. All the sites which I hadn’t got the time nor energy to maintain and continue. Allowing it to rot by itself. No. I shall remove it till I’m able to give my full attention. Otherwise, it’s pointless, isn’t it?

One by one, I’ll conquer it. But not at the same time. And maybe not now…

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