The fatigue overwhelms me once again. Must had been the lack of sleep last night after spending hours decoding whether are those real contractions or not and wondering when is the time to head to the hospital. With that z-monster occupying my head now at this moment, I hadn’t had the mood to handle my own problems and work, how will it be possible to handle yours?
On the way back home just now, the lil’ hub complained about his work and colleagues all the way continuously. From A to B, then to C. It’s not the first time, I’d heard it in numerous occasions and sometimes, almost every other day. Nevertheless, I let him continued, but without any or much feedback from me, which is normally not the case.
I wondered. Does he knows that I’m freaking tired?
As a married couple, or any couple, yes, one should always try and be there for the other party. But at times, and there must be such times, where one must handle their own problems and shouldn’t put more or rely totally on the other party. And this includes purely just letting out and complaining to that person. This is especially true when the other party has his/her problems to handle. If you continued to put on more of such issues on them or making a constant “noise” (and thus they couldn’t have a peace of mind), depending on the character of that person, it could results in various outcomes – sudden outburst or breakdown, total isolation etc.
So what’s the easiest way to know when to stop, if that person never say anything? Facial expression? Change of attitude? Ignores you? Body language?
Well, there’s actually a lot of ways to know, i.e. if you choose to be a little MORE observant.
Like the lil’ hub, I supposed he did sense some kind of “difference” as I kept quiet almost all the way, so he asked the obvious when we were reaching home (in a jokingly manner). “Are you listening to what I said?” Oh yes, I’m quite sure he did sense it. But probably not handling it intelligently. And with his constant repetitive humming and singing of that few tunes in different ways, it sure will drive one crazy.
We just went to the gynae in the morning. No worries, the baby is fine but as the due date is reaching, and that she don’t seem to want to come out. The doctor had advised that there’s a possibility that we’ll need to go for cesarean. And that next Wednesday, we’ll need to go down to do a CTG to ensure that little milkie’s perfectly healthy. Cesarean. CTG. As much as I did prep myself for such case to happen, I still hope to deliver it naturally where possible. Anyway, most importantly, it’s still to ensure the safety of little milkie, that’s my biggest worry, and I doubt the lil’ hub felt anything. After all, he’s not the one carrying the baby.
Anyway, this is the place where I get most of my peace from. At least, I have a place where I can find some peace. I hope you can too.