Thoughts – Breastfeeding Time Again

Day 6

3.14am – Huh? The baby is hungry again? Didn’t I just feed her a while ago? Gosh!

An extremely-tired-me suddenly woke up to the cries of the baby. I sat at the edge of the bed with my eyes still half closed. The cries had woken up the lil’ hub as well. He, too, sat up on the mattress for a while, and then got up to carry the baby. With my eyelids still very heavy, I heaved myself up from the bed and went to prepare and arrange the pillows etc. for breastfeeding.

Who told you it’s going to be easy?!

I guess the expectation wasn’t set up properly. I expected a 7.0 difficulty but now it has reach at least a 9.0 to 9.5. It’s too much to handle. NO WONDER the nurse told me that a lot of people gave up within 2 weeks because it really is HARD work. And me, too, is feeling the stress and strain both mentally and physically. Furthermore, without much support from the lil’ hub (supported formula milk because it’s going to make life easier for everyone) nor my mum (supported bottle feeding because can see how much the baby is drinking), it makes it even more difficult for me to continue.

But without those support, I kept telling myself to persevere, and so, no matter how tired I am, I still wake up to the call of the baby, telling me that she’s hungry or that she just wants to suck.

Oh, yes, I didn’t realize that either. That some babies just want to suck.

Well, so why is breastfeeding that difficult? Here’s the list:

(1) It’s painful, especially at the start, or when there’s a blocked duct somewhere in the breasts.

(2) Nobody can replace you, and you’ll have to wake up to every call for food, no matter how tired you are.

(3) Latching on isn’t an easy task, especially if you have a hungry and impatient baby.

(4) Waking up the baby for food or to continue sucking isn’t an easy task as well, especially if you have a sleepy baby (or a jaundice baby).

(5) Some babies just want to comfort nurse, meaning they just want to latch on and suck, and not to feed.

(6) It could take up to an hour, per feed.

Is this enough to scare you off? Probably not because a lot of people just read or heard from other people, saying that it’s difficult, and that some said that it’s easy or alright. But nobody will know exactly for sure until you are in the circumstances yourself.

I had wanted to breastfeed all along. I wanted to give my baby the best, or if not, the better choice, and thus I chose to breastfeed. Nothing else crossed my mind until now. I’m swaying but yet I know I can’t give up like that. But I’m freaking exhausted. I’m in a dilemma.


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