Thoughts – Postnatal Depression

Day 11

You should be glad that you are reading a blog, written by me, titled as it is. For it means I’m not there yet (thankfully), i.e. I’m still somewhat sane (to an extent) and conscious enough not to fall into that vicious cycle, and therefore am able to write this. At least, and hopefully, not yet or ever.

The hours of sobbing yesterday had released some stress and frustration out of me, and thus, am feeling slightly better today, and am able to keep myself from behaving like a wilful crazy b*tch, as what the lil’ hub would say. Furthermore, its a Saturday, which means the lil’ hub was here with me for the whole of today (since yesterday), till now. And that too, helped in taking some of the load and pressure off me.

Postnatal depression, a condition that occurred (from whatever knowledge that I have) after giving birth. Due to what? Stress? Hormones? I’m not too sure but I guessed its a mixture of both, and some other “ingredients”. But somewhat, it’s a condition not to be taken lightly. If you see your loved ones who had just given birth and behaving somewhat not normally (out-of-the-blue crying, throwing tantrums etc.), please start to take note.

I’d known and heard of people suffering from this. Some without realising it, some in a really bad condition, and some for a very long time. Length of time to heal and the degree of the seriousness? Hmm… I doubt anyone can predict except that it seems relatively logical to assume that the length of time it takes to get back to normal depends a lot on those people around you (especially loved ones). And the degree of seriousness, somewhat is also related to those around you, and how early it was being discovered and “treated”.

Of course, it would always be the best case if this doesn’t happen at all. None of us, including the person who is suffering from it, would want that to happen. I mean, honestly, WHO in the RIGHT mind, would want to suffer from postnatal depression, IF it can be controlled? If anyone thinks that people likes to suffer from it, that person (which at times I think my lil’ hub and probably my mum are included) must be either brainless or doesn’t know how to empathize with others.

But can we prevent it from happening? I believe so, and that you can actually try and stop it, or at least, prevent it, BUT (and it’s a BIG “but”) with the help of those that you loved.

From my understanding, and what I’m going through now, which probably shows some early signs of this condition. It happens mainly because of the lack of sleep, the cries of the baby (you have totally no idea why the baby is crying), the stress (from all different parties for different reasons) and mainly you kept getting “shot” or the lack of attention (or too much) on you, which somewhat equals to “you are not being loved anymore” or that simply “you are stupid”. Of course, again, we all know that it’s now really true, but for someone who is not in their right state of mind, they’ll think otherwise. And it’s a very BIG OTHERWISE.

So the only way for the loved ones to help is very simple – SHOW LOVE AND CONCERN FOR THAT PERSON, AND PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES (everything happens way too fast). DO NOT SCOLD THEM AS IT WILL ONLY AGGRAVATE THE PROBLEM (this is the WORST thing that you can do to that person, which both the lil’ hub and my mum did. sh*t).

Is it that difficult to do? Yes, to some, yes, because they can never see why people will fall into that cycle…

Anyway, I’m not 100% normal, I can tell you that, not at this point. I’m trying hard to keep myself so-called sane here, and the only person closed to me and that can understand me, is only my sister, which I’m thankful for it (at least not everyone in my family is xxxx). The mum is probably too stress to understand, and the lil’ hub is just… *speechless*

My Lord, help me a little here.

To the lil’ hub: I don’t really want to cry. But I can’t stop it, and stop asking me why.

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