Thoughts – Early Reflections 2012

Sometimes I wished so much that there’s a device attached to my brain which can help me to type out all my thoughts instantly, any time, any where. And then beep away some of the *cough* not so nice words. Ah… How nice would that be? But then again, I’m afraid I might crashed the system with my waves of thoughts almost continuously. Oh yes, the problem with the yin water element. And oh yes, my little milkie’s probably going to be the same like me. Ah. Seriously wonder if that’s a good or a bad thing. And to think that I was still praying that my baby would be the same as me when she’s still in my womb. What am I thinking…

Anyway, life’s good but just a little messy, in all aspects of my life. No, I never get into any trouble, it’s just kind of erm… disorganized? Very disorganized…

So here goes…

I’ve been sitting in front of my workstation and hardly doing much things for at least a month. And I know I can’t continue like that especially with the new management and goals to be achieved within this financial year (ends on Sep 2013). But yet I just couldn’t find the motivation to do it. And then back at home, things are the same. My room’s messy, and it got worse after the Bangkok trip. I don’t have the time nor energy to clean things up. Table top cannot be seen. Clothes not ironed. All my TO-DOs hanging in mid-air and God knows what I’m waiting for. Everyday, I’m just doing the bare minimum, to save myself from all the chasing and naggings, and the rest of the things are simply just piling and piling and piling up, higher and higher each day.

Yes, I know it’s bad. It’s going to crash on me some day. And I don’t like the idea of watching the world passing by, with me stoning right in the middle. Oh lord, and a 53.6 on that scale is definitely unacceptable but yet, I did nothing to it. Where are all my enthusiasm?

I felt tired. Drained. Flying thoughts in my head. The trip doesn’t seem to help much, with me waking up to pump milk every night still. And I wonder why did I not find the time to sit down and plan it out, as I had planned. Sigh… and now that I’m back home, the pace is resumed and I don’t have a choice but to try and catch up with the lost time. But how to? When I’m crawling instead of running?

Yes yes, other than the¬†fact that little milkie is growing healthily and happily everyday, the rest of the things suck. *LOL* Not that it’s not good, just that when it’s messy, it just makes it not so attractive.

Let’s hope a $2.58 app can help me to organize a little. And BEST! If it could change the auntie in the mirror, who kept starring back at me. Oh… that feeling sucks!

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