Thoughts – Pamper vs Dote

Do you know how naughty kids are created? By parents/grandparents/care-givers who pamper them. Its just a very thin line, between Pamper and Dote.

No idea what’s the difference? Let me try and elaborate using scenarios.

Firstly, let’s give some brief definition (extracted directly when searched in Google)

Dote – Be extremely and uncritically fond of.

Pamper – Indulge with every attention, comfort and kindness; spoil.


Scenario A

Letting the baby learn how to sleep on her own.

Dote – Most of the time let baby sleep especially when she’s jolly well capable of doing it.

Pamper – Carry baby to sleep once she started to cry and refuse to sleep on her own. Worse still, try to capture her attention so that she can do the earlier.


Scenario B

Baby deliberately throw things away and expect you to pick it up for her.

Dote – Pick up once or twice, and then tell her that if she throws away the next time, then you are not going to pick it up for her. Learning what is “no more”.

Pamper – Pick up once, twice, thrice, in fact, EVERYTIME!


Scenario C

Baby tries to get something a little too far for her.

Dote – Help to move it a little closer at times. But otherwise, let her try on her own. Stretching a little is good.

Pamper – Put the thing right in front of her.

Is it enough? I can provide more examples if you still don’t understand the difference.

Sigh… I’m so crossed with my dad now because he just did Scenario A. My idea was to train the baby to sleep on her own while at the same time, let my parents have an easier time so that they don’t have to always carry her to sleep. They are old, baby’s not exactly that light. But why can’t they (more of “HE”) understand that? Did I stop them from carrying the baby when she’s sick for the past few days? No, I never because I do understand that the baby isn’t feeling that great and thus I’ll let her be pampered for that few days. But now that she’s recovering, she ought to slowly go back to the normal routine, isn’t it? Now, it seems like MY FAULT that I stopped them from carrying their beloved grandkid. *facepalm*

Mum, Dad and Mother,

I’m sorry but I don’t want little milkie to be like me, who is overly dependent especially when I’m young, nor do I want her to be like lil’ hub, who is overly pampered until he’s like the king of the kings. It took me years to overcome my weak points and the lil’ hub is still retaining his 100% king attitude over his mum (just that he can’t do that unto me). I’m repeating it again, I WON’T allow that to happen. If there’s a need for me to raise my voice at you (not in front of little milkie), I would. Pardon me for doing that. Little milkie is my child.

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