Thoughts – Divorced

Met up with a friend who officially got divorced recently. Am thankful that she’s strong enough to embrace through the whole process, a sucky process, according to her. Although, again according to her, there’s always the up-days and the down-days, still, at the very least, there are still the ups.

I’m not sure if it’s the trend, or just that as I grew older, when more friends gotten married, I see a growing number of people that I knew who got divorced too, or at the verge of divorcing.

Is it really that easy to divorce? I doubted it.

Everyone that I knew didn’t go through an easy path.

Friend A – Hub had an affair. She tried to salvage the marriage, and even confronted the other woman who insisted to hang on to the hub. She gave up only after 10 years, taking the children with her. Nonetheless, she’s a strong woman.

Friend B – Hung on to the marriage, and again try to salvage the marriage but then her break point was hit when the hub refused to reconcile, and only later to agree on one totally-incorrigible condition. She finally gave up on him. The whole marriage lasted for 7 years.

Friend C – The wife decided to divorce and bring the child back to her own country. He didn’t and couldn’t stop her. He took the house. She took the child. Now, he’s on his way to sign the paper. Totally devastated. Waited for 3 years for this.

It’s a mental torture. The process of waiting while waiting for all the procedures and processes to be completed. And during that process, the thought of reconcilation continues. After all, it isn’t that easy for 2 person to come together and get married. As one of them mentioned, nothing can be done during that period other than wait. And while waiting, that person will somewhat still be part of your life. And it gets worse when children, alimony, houses etc. are involved because it’s still going to take a while to settle all these before you are totally “free” from that person!

Sigh… why does this process needs to be so troublesome? Will it really help the couple to re-think on the decision by making the divorce process complicated and troublesome?

Sometimes I feel, it might be a relieve to these people to divorce than to hang on to a marriage that’s going nowhere. And especially if it’s emotionally and mentally draining…

Anyway, I know Friend A is doing really well. Let’s hope the other two will be okay too! I know they can do it! ^^

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