Ramblings #0695

12.18am – The lil’ hub’s asleep. Little milkie’s asleep too. I just finished putting the jacket and socks for little milkie and am now just lying on the mattress beside her. Going to do anything? Nope. It’s already too late. And that has always been the issue…

If I do my work at this hour and sleep late, it will affect my health and skin. But if I sleep early, I won’t be able to do my things. If I do my things earlier, I won’t be able to spend time with little milkie. But if I play with her, I can’t do my things. If I try to do some of my things at work, my work will pile up. But if I just work, I hardly have any other times that I can do my own things. If I take leave to do my things, I’ll feel guilty for not accompanying little milkie and helping my mum out. But if I stay at home, I definitely won’t complete my things. So how should I proceed from here?

7.50am – Compared to yesterday, it’s a better morning. Let’s hope this feeling continues.

9.37am – Just calculated my finance. I’m going to eat grass next month. I supposed I’ll have to start living frugal again for the following months, definitely, by hook or by crook. But… there’s still at least 1 more gathering coming up!… …

10.11am – If only one doesn’t need to worry so much about money. Ah, note, it’s not about totally not worrying, just not so much. I really need to try and take note of my spending. It’s getting from bad to worse. Urgh.

11.40am – How many times do I need to mention? DON’T send it to my individual email! Sigh… People simply don’t listen.

12.57pm – Unsatisfied meal. How? Mood’s dropping again. I guess it must be due to the PMS that’s coming.

1.10pm – OH YES! The fight is ON! GO GO BOSS!!! WE WILL SUPPORT YOU!! WHACK THAT RISING STAR!

4.58pm – Great. No news from that Rising Star till now. *LOL* FYI, I shot back another email after he replied to my boss’s one, and probably sealed his lips with my last question – “May I know for whom or which ticket is it not correct?” A simple, straight forward and innocent-looking question with a hidden agenda and lots of “knives” behind. A wrong step and he would be killed.

Why? Because it’s obviously there’s only 2 persons that he’s referring to, on the failed SLA, and one of them is none other than himself (and of course I know all of these – checked and ensured that indeed it is his fault and not the data). If he tells me (and everyone else in the cc list) who or which ticket it is, everyone will turn to him, and the question would be… why didn’t he follow the procedures, even as a manager? And many more questions might arise from the upper management after that.

Oooooh… I FEEL GOOD! *da da da da da* I knew that I would…

6.39pm – I walked aimlessly in the bookstore. The bit of pressure that’s coming from every direction now weighs a little too much on me and I needed it out. I’m out of balance again but I’m trying to get back on track. A haircut – I’ll start with this.

At work. Why am I even still working for someone? Sadly, as one who was brought up in a middle income family since young, and grown up to be in that sector, it makes it difficult for one to give up on a relatively well paid and stable job to come out and start their business. Furthermore, with the plan in mind to have another young one, and all the benefits that’s given by the government and company, it makes the decision even more difficult. Not to mention the fact that the lil’ hub is on his own now.

Then a chat with the boss earlier on, just demoralized me further when I knew that a promotion ain’t going to be on the way for at least another year or more…

With a job that hardly gave me any job satisfaction at all, I tried to turn to my own hobbies. But hey, I really simply couldn’t find any time to do much things… Was it really due to my poor management of time? And with my poor management of finance, it just added to my list of problems.

I definitely needed a plan. And a quick one. It’s good that October is coming. I bought a small 2014 planner.

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