1.16am – Again. She’s crying again. She woke up because of the cough. Poor thing but…

1.52am – It flowed again. It ached again. I don’t know why. It felt familiar. Hasn’t it healed? The wound seems to have a heart and mind on it’s own. Picking up similar patterns and activating what should not be activated.

3.32am – How do I sleep when she’s crying so loudly? Regardless whether I need to work tomorrow or not, I’m still her mother, and knowing that she’s still crying for some reasons definitely can’t get me into bed. So, dad, please, just let me stay awake while you go and sleep.

4.44am – She’s finally asleep… But now what? *stares at her with eyes wide open* And mum, if only sleeping was so easy for me, I would ALREADY have slept the moment I knew she’s asleep…

7.19am – Great. She’s awake. I need to be awake.

7.40am – It’s weird that little milkie kept asking for her daddy. Furthermore, twice, now and yesterday night. Which means after all, she still loves her daddy! ^^

8.35am – I’m pretty sure I’m too tired when I keyed in the postal code for my pin number. Damn. What was I thinking anyway? -.-”’

8.38am – I wondered… will some happier food make me happier?

ramblings-0738

9.02am – Not too bad. Still not TOO late even though I came out so late. Thanks for the cab! Is my mood better? Well, maybe slightly. Will see how later.

9.33am – I just took a look at the bazi of a colleague. Hmm… really in the wrong field and industry. And so am I. I really need to start changing this. It’s driving me nuts. This job.

10.40am – Gee. Messaged the wrong person *facepalm* But it definitely is nice to chat with this ex-colleague. And glad to know that his son is the same age as little milkie, and same as my birthday, and he’s moving to my area next year! How cool is that?!!!

12.15pm – Okay. Bought my fondant and what not. Now, I’m just waiting for tomorrow.

1.59pm – Take a step back. You once asked me how to avoid all those bad peach blossom. This is the way – take a step back and stay away. At the rate that you are chatting, more than half the time it won’t end up good… eventually. It always begin with “we are just friends”.

2.09pm – Lil’ hub messaged! Glad he’s listening… and helping… ^^

4.28pm – Heehee, he messaged again! ^^

5.19pm – Was reading through JY’s facebook and then some of the things that he mentioned got stuck in my head:

“The choice is either continue on the wrong path and endure the pain and consequences, or turn back and at least try a different path with hope of improving. You may not know if the new path is right for you, but at least you know the current path you take is definitely not the right one. The wise thing to do is to stop and turn back.”

Should I? Or should I not? It’s something which I had been pondering for a long time. And now that it’s after 9 years, will I still be able to make it?

5.29pm – It’s nice to be back on the learning track.

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