Ramblings #0835

9.15am – Woke up with a mood less than better. Lack of love, lack of sleep, lack of hugs, lack of kisses, lack of satisfaction in almost everything. Talk, it’s all just salesman’s talk. Talk is cheap. Right. I’m sorry but I ain’t really in a good mood this morning.

The lil’ hub’s had been rambling about the projects that he’s doing every now and then, and saying how good it is, and how much he can sell. Fine, I’m alright with that until it starts to get on my nerves when none seem like what he said, and it changes from Phillipines to Malaysia, and now to Thailand. So are you going to Thailand now? Yes, other people are doing great in this industry but he’s not. It started to dawn on me if it’s the right path for him. On me, but probably not really on him as he continues to dream on the amount of properties that he can sell for each and every project that he said he wants to focus on because it’s DARN good. I’m not saying that he’s not working hard. He is, really, so hard that when he comes back, he will be so tired that he’ll (most of the time) just sit in a corner looking at his iPad, be it for work or for fun. Fine. Great.

But what is still wrong? The same thing that I had been complaining again and again, and again. The bare minimum – hugs and kisses. That’s all what I’m asking for AT LEAST. Dude, I’m NOT balanced! You are neglecting your wife, AGAIN! I don’t even get an initiate kisses through the SMS! That’s how pathetic my marriage life is, if it’s ever called one in the first place!! All these are missing!!! PHYSICAL TOUCH DUDE! Do you need me to paste a piece of paper that says “Remember to hug and kiss your wife every now and then” on your steering wheel, or load it in the start up page for all your gadgets??? Maybe I should really just do that!!

I’m sorry, but I’m just thoroughly disappointed and unbalanced, from all the promises that you gave. It’s not just a one time incident. It’s accumulated. And not to mention the fact that I’m not satisfied with my work either. 414 more days, right… that’s with the conditions that I’ve gotten my second maternity leaves and that you’d found a permanent job. Otherwise, it will only be just a dream. A dream that probably won’t come true at this point. And do you know how agonizing it is? It simply means I’ve got nothing to look forward to. Can’t change job. Can’t move on. Stagnant. Period.

2.20pm – Felt so much better after a jog and lunch. Okay, let’s have peace… *zeeeeeeeennnnn…*

2.46pm – Hmm… cannot go out with friends. That would cause me to spend more money. Need to be frugal… frugal… frugal…

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