Ramblings #0982

9.02am – It’s around 9am and I just stepped into the office. The day didn’t start off as well as it should, and thus probably add on to the I-don’t-feel-like-working mood.

Little milkie finally went back to school after almost a one week break due to the staycation. Well, she started crying the moment I attempted to carry her out of the car. By the time we reached the gate of the school (just 3m away from the car), her tears and mucus were all over. The principal attempted to calm her down but with no luck. In the end, she simply just carried her over while I settled her things and left for work. She, was still, crying for me then.

Sigh… Persevere, that’s what I kept telling myself. How long can I keep her away from school? It’s just another 3 more months before she reaches the year of 3, what is the difference? And by then, it might be too late for her to adjust. It’s easy for the grandparents to say that they can take care but honestly, can they, really? When I tried to recall back on how everyone is so tired a few months back, before little milkie started going to school, I told myself it’s definitely worth it. Voice getting louder, sleep getting lesser, household chores not done, clothes piling up and many others but yet they don’t see it. I do. Why? Because I’m at the receiving end. She’s my child and I should handle her once I get back from work, and probably other things. Goodness. But that’s what I’ll be told. No maids. No part-time helpers. Just me alone, being a superwoman. Right. But that’s their expectations.

So, NO. Despite the fact that I really do find little milkie a little pitiful at times, and it hurts too, but NO. I’m not withdrawing her from school just to satisfy the oldies. You know, sometimes it gets really tiring ‘fighting’ against all these pointless odds. How nice it would be if only my decisions were supported fully by my family members. But more than half the time, it’s not… I’m always almost alone…

And then it’s as if there’s not enough stupid people around, my sister told me that my youngest cousin apparently got scolded by one of his friend’s mum because his son did something wrong. Oh gosh, did I write correctly? Yes, I think I did. Yes, his friend is the one that did something wrong and thus my cousin went to report to the teachers, and in the end that friend’s mum come and scold him. I’m pretty sure his son lied about what happened. Parents. Stupid parents raise stupid children, and create this stupid society. Do I need to elaborate more?

Yes, I know I probably shouldn’t be getting so work up because of such small things but I really am disappointed at times with this used to be beautiful world that I know of. It probably doesn’t seem like so anymore.

9.52am – I can feel my blood boiling as I waited and waited for the reply. I feel as if I’m talking to a wall. Is it that difficult to check? Why are some people so slow in whatever things that they do? There’s totally no sense of urgency! For goodness!

10.12am – It doesn’t feel good to have to make decisions, of any kind, early in the morning. Should I penalise or should I not? It isn’t fair to just penalise one party but yet there’s no way I can penalise both. There’s no such system here. So I should just ‘cover’ it up and highlight? And then remove that option? Sigh…


3.03pm – I wondered what’s the reason for me to get this soft toy for little milkie. Is it because of dumping her at the school? Or that I simply needed to buy something to cheer myself up? Or that the look on grumpy’s face simply reminded me of myself today?

Lunch hasn’t been good. The vinegar’s a little too much for that fishball kway teow, which probably makes everything bad. That’s probably the only time where I can try and eat before I start to puke anything and everything out at night. I’m glad though, that the errands are completed, after procrastinating it over the weekends.

My boss is online, which means… hmm… nothing… okay, am just a little emo today, which I’d been trying to avoid all these while. Once you start, it’s difficult to stop. Shall stop here for now *headphone’s up*

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