Thoughts – Marriage, includes the Sh*ts

Right at this moment, once again, I’m facing the sh*ts that I’d chosen. Pardon my language for now, but I have no intention to keep my language free of any slightest vulgarities.

THIS, is one of the reasons why I am so afraid of getting married because it includes not just only the beautiful things, but the sh*ts too. And for my case, it’s probably a BIG pile of sh*ts.

I don’t regret my decision. I can’t. It’s my choice. And I made my choice 4 years ago and I will stick to it. I love him, and even though he has that pile of sh*ts with him, I still do. BUT, loving him doesn’t mean I will welcome his sh*ts and attitudes with open arms. No. I’m not one who tolerates it silently. NO. Don’t ever wish upon that unless I’m resting in peace.

Want to know what happen? Here’s what happened, thanks to the biggest f*cker brainless asshole EVER.

He went to drop cheque, while I went to the supermarket to get the diapers on sale. Upon reaching the supermarket, I calculated the cost and realised it’s actually quite cheap. So I called him and had wanted to ask how many packets he wanted to get, but no one picked up. At that point, I had decided to just grab 3 and left but he returned the call and thus I waited. I DID check the time but had reckoned that we would at most be late by a bit. And SERIOUSLY, will children’s concert really start at 4pm sharp? It was 3.25pm then.

Anyhow, he finally came and we grabbed 6 packs. But just before we left, he asked if we want to grab another 3 because it’s really relatively cheaper. So I told him to wait while I go get the trolley (if we are getting 9 packs altogether). But then things cock up. I put in the coin to get the trolley and it got stuck. I couldn’t get out and a kind soul told me to get help from the cashier, which I did. So after that, I messaged him. Shortly, he came over, face looking black. In normal circumstances, one would have thought that the dearest hub would have came to help or get help but no, not in my case. It was around 3.40pm.

He did come over. But here’s what he yelled (= louder than his usual voice) at me, CONTINUOUSLY. And at the same time, one staff came to help to take out the coin.

Him: What are you doing? Didn’t you check the time? What have you been doing while I went to drop cheque?
I rebutted: I was waiting for you to decide. i called you but you never picked up. *I was still quite cool and a little SHOCK at his tone and attitude*
Him: Is it that difficult to decide? Can’t you just decide? Do you have to waste time like that? And why didn’t you tell me that it’s going to be 4pm? Where is your sense of time?

That does it…

I SHOUTED back: Like that also can? Is your surname “Lai”? Who is the one who wants to get the 9 packs? Do you think I want the coin to get stuck? So what, everything is MY fault okie? Are you happy?
Him: Good. You FINALLY admit that its your fault.

I slammed his door. He’s unhappy. I shouted (definitely not the usual me) in the car. He only repeatedly said, “That’s it, enough. I have my limits.”

Great, as if I don’t. And is it my fault?

But you know what? Right after we turned out from the carpark not long later, and he realised how NEAR is Republic Polytechnic to Causeway Point, he probably started to realise that he don’t need to rush until like that (and that he shouldn’t kick up such a big fuss, for he said “oh, it’s so near”.

Dumb. Brainless. Idiot.

Amazingly, I didn’t feel like crying anymore until much much later. It’s not a good sign. It only goes to show how immune I am to his rubbish. Throwing his temper like that, suddenly, and over trivial matters.

We waited of course. What concert would be so on time unless you are going to watch it at the Esplanade. And we waited for a good half an hour before we were allowed to go in.

He, as usual, tried to have a conversation with me again but I didn’t bulge until after a loooooooooong while. But why? Why does it always have to go this stupid way?

If you think that marriages are like fairy tales where you “live happily ever after”. Dream on. That doesn’t happen in reality. Fairy tales never show the unhappy portion after that. Remember that.

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