My thoughts went all over as I started to think about my plans for 2016 again. The next year is approaching in another 10 more days and I definitely want to make it as planned as possible in the hope to achieve more. 2015 had been good with the arrival of my little milo, but other than that, everything went haywired.
It’s been a hell of a hectic year for me, with deprived sleep, deprived me-time, and other deprives. The temporary ‘solution’ for all these is basically shopping but that only provided a short span of happiness and an extremely messed up room and money management. Fats are accumulating and that, too, only added up to my stress to get back my figure. In fact, nothing seems to go well according to plan other than having little milo in my life and a new job. I’m in a situation where the controls are not working properly and I need some help.
2016 is a very important milestone to me as it marks the 3rd cycle of my life. I really hope that it doesn’t mess up like every other year. With whatever skills that I possess, I ought to be able to do something more than what I’m doing now, at least that’s what I chose to believe, but yet I continued on for the past 35 years.
As I sat in my office, looking at the photo that I took while I was on the public bus earlier on, with my ezlink card held in my hand, I can’t help but stare at the cute picture of the wonder woman on it… I wished I really am a wonder woman at times… but I am not…
3 hours back, I thought that the day (and morning) was going to be a normal Monday. I was still planning in my head to take a short nap during the ride to work, and then planning on the bread that I intend to buy for breakfast, as well as the work I intended to clear today. But as I finished washing up, the lil’ hub came out and told me that little milkie requested me not to go to work. Alas, not today. I started a pep talk with her which I thought would end pretty soon since she seems to take it well. But alas again, it didn’t. As I made her milk, passed it to her, and started packing my bag for work, she wailed and cried for me. I chatted with her a little bit more hoping that she will understand the logics to why I need to work (I must be dreaming too much to think that it will work), probably a tad more than I should, and then after that I was sent rushing out of the house. I missed the bus. Saw it moving right passed me and leaving the bus stop as I stood stuck at the traffic lights. I didn’t run because my knees hurt a little and I was carrying my laptop (of ALL days). And so, I began the dreadful travelling via the public bus and MRT, carrying that 3 bags. While I stood sandwiched in the train, I began to wonder how nice it would have been if only I’m a work-at-home-mom but my lifestyle and commitment doesn’t allow me to. Or else it would be even better if I’m a wonder woman.
And then all the thoughts about everything started to surface. How will 2016 be like? Terrorism, war, economy crisis, plague…? Am I prepared for all these? No. On a smaller scale, my dreams, little milkie’s and milo’s development, my finance etc. Okay? No.
Too many things that I want to do. Too little time that I have. I’m not sure if I can hang on for that long but I’m going to try even harder. It won’t be a year where I would want to feel like a failure.