Thoughts – Little Time for FTWM

It’s midnight and I’m still awake, sitting alone at the dining table with the fan blowing straight at my hair. I’m trying to dry it without using the hair dryer.

A planned romantic lunch-cum-movie date with the lil’ hub on Monday turned out to be a hectic 2 days. What a waste.

Last Friday, I received a text in the group chat of the mummies of little milkie’s classmates, stating that their English teacher had been told to leave. Statements from the teachers and the new management when questioned were very different. But evidences pointed out that the management wasn’t truthful. And of course, since we have known and went through ‘thick and thins’ with those 2 teachers of the kids, we chose to believe them. Disregarding that fact, I would have made the same decision too, that is, to quit this kindergarten and search for another one.

Yes, the search is back after 1 month of school reopening. What a shame. What a shame. What a shame.

Banyan Tree Kindergarten. A director who gave her promises to us, to retain the current teachers but yet just after a month, one was asked to leave while the other at end of March, simply just because her focus is on the student care after the kindergarten, and that sje requires the teachers to work full day instead of half a day.

And so it seems to me that her business of saving money is more important than retaining the confidence of the parents (after a long saga) and building the future of children. Thus, we have decided to leave.

Due to this, I was already a little frustrated for we had to wait till Monday before we can check with the Kindy that we had wanted to go to (before we decided to give this new management a chance). And with that extreme lack of sleep because my dearest little milo wad awake in the wee hours and I had to make him sleep. By the time he slept, my insomnia problem kicked in. So, I had a small argument with the lil’ hub when he asked if he could go and play cards with his friends. Wrong timing, dude. Not when your wife is freaking, extremely, desperate for sleep. It was to the point when I don’t even know if I could cross the roads safely. Words weren’t totally absorbed too. What’s worse? The lil’ hub said that it wasn’t as tiring as I mentioned. Of course he could say such things when he hardly experienced those consecutive lack of sleep days!

I ignored him and took a not-deep-sleep nap in his car while waiting for the little one to finish her class. By the time I woke up, I told him to go on the condition that he will take the morning shift that night.

He did. And I did. Despite little milo climbing over me, I continued to sleep, ignoring his cries. You might say that I am a little harsh, but I need that (stupid most of the time) lil’ hub to understand the kind of tiredness (which is also impossible) that I had. Well, I’m glad he did because I was quite a wake during my parent volunteer on Sunday.

Funnily, by the time I’m home, the lil’ hub got sick. Weak. Just a day where he woke up early and didn’t have enough sleep and he’s down for the next 2 days. Seriously, it was a bit of WTH. And I realised after that that it only happens when he looks after the kiddos. I don’t see him getting sick when he plays mahjong and came back only in the morning.

Monday came and that was supposedly to be my planned date. But the lil’ hub was a little sick. Little milo had been sick for a week. Little milkie will need to find a new school soon. And so with all those things in my head, we settled our flat thing early in the morning. Waited at the HDB hub for damn long time before heading down to the Kindy that we shortlisted previously where the lil’ hub drilled the poor admin lady. I knew then, that he didn’t like that school but still, it was one of the options. Then we quickly went to view a second school which was immediately condemned by him. Right after that, I had to quickly go home to catch my boy while my parents brought the elder one out. I swallowed down the food, had some indigestion before finally getting through the hotline of the PD and brought little milo for a check up.

Finally in the evening, we handover the small thing and I’m able to sit down and (tensely) relax to watch The Final Chapter of The Resident Evil. Dinner was alright. I didn’t have much of an appetite by then.

Other parents found another school so we decided to take a look the next day (Tuesday). So early in the morning, we drove to the place and the first impression was good. The only thing, there wasn’t and school bus service to my parents’ place.

For the whole day, I couldn’t concentrate other than thinking how. The lil’ hub wasn’t helpful at all. Asked him to call the bus driver again for he is more eloquent but he kept on rejecting until at night where he finally woke up his idea and called. Gosh. Honestly, sometimes I really feel like slapping his head. Why does he likes to make things difficult for his wife??! Can’t he just f call?! I was even toying with the idea of quitting and become a SAHM! (hardly possible though)

Anyway, with that almost settled, I finally had some mood and appetite and asked little milkie to learn her spelling. You know how the lil’ hub had always mentioned that right brain training is useless? I beg to differ. I told her that once her spelling revision is done, I will do some crafting with her. Within 10 minutes, she was done. But of course that BN hub of mine will simply think that his daughter is just smart. Useful or not, I rather they go through it instead of not, and then us ruining part of their options in the future. But then again, it is something that the lil’ hub will never ever understand because there is no processor. Anyhow, we did crafts together after that and she loves it.

Yup. That was my 2 days and I’ve got 2.5 days to meet my deadline at work. I’m tired. My hormones seem kinda hay-wire. I felt stuck for a lot of things. I wanted more time to do things with the kids everyday. I am frustrated but nobody understands me.

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