Getting Old…

It’s been a while, that I have the time to sit down, alone, with such overwhelmed thoughts.

I just had my eyes checked, to make a new pair of spectacles since my old one was still stuck behind the stacks of boxes and the other pair’s nose supports had both dropped. Brought my frame to the spectacle shop and they checked the degree of my eyes. 150 for both. Did I hear it wrongly? The last time that I checked two years back was probably still at 200!

Then it brought back to the conversation that I had earlier on with my colleague. She too, had her eyes checked, and her degrees dropped. Based on the optician, it could be because her long-sightedness is kicking in. Is mine kicking in too?

Come to think of it, I will be 40 in another few years time. 40 and fab, that is what I want to be and feel but yet now, I can only see 40 coming soon and fat.

Had another chat with a long time good friend just now and she seemed so shock that I had no savings at all. Am I the only one or am I just one among a lot others? Living in this expensive city, I guess, one will indeed feel scary to live without any savings at all. Asked me and I will tell you that I do too yet at the same time, it’s difficult to keep myself balance if I curbed my not-so-much spendings. On top of that, I’ve got to finance my kids and parents.

Just a few weeks’ ago, my sister’s partner was diagnosed with cancer at an early stage. She had her operation and thank God that everything went smoothly. But that was because she chose to go for private hospital and thus her operation was scheduled real early. But how about those who don’t have that kind of money?

I have ever heard of people’s condition getting worse due to the wait. Are we short of doctors? Or is it just the money factor?

I felt breathless that everyday I’m thinking of so many things instead of stopping and looking up. What is my sunny island turning into? Just yesterday, a friend mentioned that our dearest PM said that in order to be ahead, we need to steal other people’s lunches. Maybe it was the choice of words, maybe it was deliberately sabotaged by the script writer, or maybe he meant something else altogether. Whichever the case, it just doesn’t sounded right. And then hours later, the news for ERP opening at KPE near Defu Lane was heard. That, I could never understand how it would actually solved the issue of the traffic jams.

To be honest, I use that route because the CTE was way too expensive ($6). It wasn’t really that bad and once you passed the Airport road, it’ll be fine. But instead of maybe e.g. expanding the road, a tax will be imposed.

I had a short discussion with the lil’ hub. In order to avoid it, we will have to pay $2. Not that we are unable to afford it but why do we have to? When we already paid for the road tax? But if we were to do that, then we will have to start work later because that ERP ends at 9.30am! And it’s impossible to start earlier because we need to send the children to school which starts only at 8am. So if we were to really start work late (assuming that the bosses are alright), we will need to go home later. By the time we are home, the kids are asleep. Even if they are not, they will be deprived of sleep. Whichever the case, there is no benefit at all. The only way to have a slightly work life balance is simply to pay, everyday. It is no wonder that people are starting to have lesser and lesser kids and if not, no kids at all, because it is so much more expensive to raise a child compared to pets. And kudos to the people at the top because you have done a great job in making everyone work like mad but it’s just too bad that your population for true blue Singaporeans will drop drastically. And it’s a vicious cycle that will lead to an unstable economy. I can vaguely foresee rich Singaporeans leaving the country while the poor are jobless and the middle group work like slaves.

But how about my children? Do I want them to be like this? Fighting to think of ways to earn more money so that they can survive. And looking at how the direction of this society goes, techy is the way to go, so does it means my kids will have to go into that even though they have no interest at all?

All humans are born differently and born to do different things… Yet in this small country with no natural resources, the people don’t seem to have much choice but to follow the directions of it in order to earn a living.

Sadly, as of now, there don’t seem to be any better alternatives as you look around the globe. All man for himself. That is like the message that everyone is getting…

And then I look at myself again. What have I achieved?

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